Friday, January 23, 2009

Mean Girls

Have you ever heard the expression..."Don"t bite the hand that feeds you?"

This little past experience of mine might make you think twice the next time you eat out or happen to be on a flight that actually serves food...

I was on a work flight (meaning--I was still in F/A training and had to work several practice trips before I graduated). On this particular day, I was assigned a JFK to LAX flight working with a very senior LAX crew. These were some very seasoned senior mamas, I'm telling you.

Everything went fine with the introductions. I was a bit intimidated by them, but was determined to just go with the flow.

In most cases, on the months that you have a set schedule and are not on reserve (on call), you work with the same crew including the cockpit.

This LAX crew had been working together all month and apparently was irritated by the Captain. He had been and rude throughout the entire month--demanding when his meal was to be brought up to the cockpit, not giving them a briefing at the beginning of the flight, micromanaging the exact order in which the insert was to be set up (insert is the container that holds their drinks), and other things along those lines. He even insisted on garnishes (which in my opinion has always been a bugaboo to me when a man insists on a lemon. SERIOUSLY! Be a man!

So anyway, you get the point...tensions were high...and they quickly brought me up to speed with their gripes.

When it came time for the cockpit's meal to be brought up, the F/A who was working in the galley started to plate the Captain's food. (He had requested the filet). She called me over (I was assisting in the galley) and told me to open the door to the lavatory. Now this was on a DC 10 aircraft, so the configuration was such that the lavatory was situated right in front of the business class section but when the lav door was opened, it blocked the view to the side of the galley, so none of the passengers could see what was taking place.


She picked up his tiny little airplane sized filet and lifted up the toilet seat. She proceeded to rub the meat over the entire underside of the toilet, and then placed it face down back on his plate.

I wish I were exaggerating!

What could I do?! She was mean! I was just a trainee! By me telling her to stop, what would she have done or said about me?! Does this mean I have no integrity?

When we went up to get the empty trays from the cockpit later on, it was apparent that he had eaten the entire thing! Not a morsal was left!

Needless to say, we made it safely to our destination, but I never heard how many hours he spent in the toilet after that trip...

So for all you people out there, let this be a lesson learned...ALWAYS be nice to the people who have stewardship over your food!

**What would you have done if you had been me?

**Do you think that guys that ask for a lemon garnish are wee wees?


  1. That story is horrible! I will be nice to everyone from now on.

    And, I don't think lemon garnishes make a man a "wee-wee." It's all about taste.

  2. Oh my goodness, this is such a nasty story! I think I would have done what you did and stood there in horrified silence.

    I never understand how people can be bossy and demanding of other people like the pilot was. Did he really think they didn't mind? What a fool. I'd love to know if he ended up sick or not.

  3. i want to be a flight attendant like, WOAH! seriously. every time i venture to your happy blog (which is all the time) it reminds me of my life goals. do i need to start practicing or something? i could go over the emergency exits in the apartment with my roommates everynight if it would help.

  4. Wow. This is why I never complain about my food in a restaurant.

    I don't know what I would have done. Because without proof, they would deny it. Telling a captain that his meal will require extra strength from his immune system doesn't seem like a good enough reason to upset your job. However, I would have also felt bad if I didn't somehow communicate. So I have no idea. He might have been fine. GROSS GROSS GROSS, but it wasn't poison. OH gross.

    I'm OK with the lemon garnish. The micromanaging, I'm not so OK with. I think real men should be grateful when people do something for them, even if it is there job to do it.

  5. See?? It's things like this that make me nervous to eat ANYTHING that hasn't been put on my plate by my own hand or the hand of someone I trust implicitly with my life.

    But asking for a lemon DOES make him considerably less manly.

    Thanks for deciding that you're insane enough to NOT be put off by my own insanity =) I'm truly flattered!

  6. This reminds me of those confessions in Cosmo! Holy crap!

  7. I might have asked her what that was about? Holy cow!

  8. I can't believe she did that. I think it depends on how you ask for things. This pilot had control issues!

  9. i won't be eating steak for awhile..yuck! (not that i would be able to afford it anyway.)i can't imagine any MEN i know ordering water with lemon- something just isn't right about that....

  10. Hey thanks for visiting my blog, too. I found you on Mormon Mommy Blogs...That's where I do all my surfing.

  11. I probably would have just stood there in complete shock for a bit, then rushed the cockpit to see if he got sick. then sadistically laughed, and maybe never eaten on a plane again. I don't know. that is just really outta this world SICK.

    ps, lemons/garnishs requested by men bring a red flag to my 'gay-dar". :)

  12. i agree with katie about the gay-dar thing. That is sick!!! We are at the airport now, but i'm pretty sure they aren't serving us meals, luckily. I don't know if my stomach could handle it...

  13. Having been a waitress for a few months, I certainly appreciate what you are talking about here. I didn't know you used to be a flight attendant! That is really cool!

  14. Ew! EWW!!! Seriously.

    I cannot even believe a person would do that! I'm speechless.

  15. Was the captain's name Bernard,by any chance?

    That was disgusting. I most likely would have acted like, "you've got to be kidding, I would never do that" and left it up to them. What was it, some kind o initiation for new attendants? YUK!