Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
The album I was listening to was one I hadn't heard in ages entitled, "When I Feel His Love"--(written by Janice Kapp Perry/Lynne Perry Christofferson). As I was walking, a song came on that literally stopped me in my tracks...
It's funny how things hit you sometimes. There was something about experiencing this song, at that moment on this day. There was something so deliciously engulfing about hearing it so clearly piped into my eardrum. A message just for me...when I needed it the most.
I struggle with motherhood...alot! I get impatient and sometimes feel resentful that my children are keeping me from doing the things that I want to be doing.
Hearing this song this morning brought such clarity of my valuable roll as a mother...It gave me such a different perspective. Although it's not a new message, it was one that I needed right then.
When I heard it, I wanted to run home and gather everyone up in my arms. I'm grateful to be a "keeper" of these "sheep". I hope they always know how dearly I love them.
I'm striving to be better...to be more patient...to be kinder...to talk softer...to savor the moments a little more...to live each day so that I won't say one day, "If only I would have spent more time with them".
Although I don't have such a good singing voice, (unless it's a Patsy Cline song and I happen to be in the bathtub), I adore music and can honestly say that I feel the closest to the Lord when I hear uplifting music. It's my favorite form of worship. Whenever I feel stressed or disconnected , nothing soothes my soul like a song.
I tried desperately to find creative ways to upload this onto my blog post. As I wasn't able to find a way to do it, I wrote the words down so that I could refer to them from time to time.
I have a little flock of sheep
And they are mine to tend and keep
And I must guard them everyday
For little lambs, when left alone, will lose their way.
So many voices say to me,
"A sheep fold is no place to be
Your time in there is dull and slow
And lambs leave very little room for you to grow."
For if I ever start to stray
Deceived by thoughts of greener pastures,
Remind me, Lord, that keeping sheep
Will lead to happier ever afters
Oh, surely there will come a day,
When all the lambs have left my side
And I am free to roam about
And go exploring other meadows, green and wide
Yet something whispers in my heart
That when my sheep have left this pen
I'll long to stroke their little heads
To draw them close to me and have them young again
So if I ever start to stray
Deceived by thoughts of greener pastures
Remind me, Lord, that keeping sheep
Will lead to happier ever afters
So while they still are in my care,
I pray that I will clearly see
These little lambs within my fold
Are tender gifts the Master Shepherd
Has given me
Such a sweet message--It breathes new life into my day...
Saturday, December 27, 2008
For some reason, Christmas day, although special and exciting in the beginning, always fizzles for me. The magic is over! The mystery of what's under the wrapping...gone! I think the best way to describe it is having all of the flourescent lights being turned on suddenly at a candlelit dinner party. Everyone's flaws become apparant.
Even as a little girl, I used to get so sad when Chrismas was over and it was time to take down the tree. We always used to have a live tree, and so a week or so after Christmas, it always got put out by the curb. I can actually remember sitting out there talking to it, telling it what a great job it did and that we would really miss it. I think I read The Little Fir tree one too many times, and so I actually treated it as if it had human qualities. (Keep in mind that I was an only child for many years, and had a very vivid imagination to boot). I was quirky that way. I used to gather sticks for the reindeer...Why? I guess I thought that sticks were right up there with hay. I never did find out what "Santa" did with all those bags of sticks that had collected. I was very observant and would have recognized the sticks that I had gathered if they ended up back in the grass. Thank goodness my kids haven't picked that traditon up. We just stick to sensible things like leaving cheese for Santa Mouse, sugar for Rudolph, cookies for Santa, and oatmeal laced with glitter for the "other" reindeer.
Anyway, back to the depression thing...I never feel that the Christmas season is long enough for me to fully enjoy the effort it takes me to decorate. I don't like starting before Thanksgiving because I really love that holiday, and I feel like I'm just discounting it by bringing Christmas in too soon. Christmas is such a sacred holiday for me. I just have so many magical memories associated with this time, that I want to keep it special. I don't step foot in a Christmas store, watch Christmas movies, or listen to Christmas songs until the day after Thanksgiving. I even keep my holiday candles out of sight.
I look at it this way...If I ate my favorite food everyday, the entire year, it would lose it's yum factor...the same goes for celebrating Christmas.
I decided to "just take a few things down" today...and now it's launched into a full on pack up fest. I like to start the new year off fresh--holiday free. There are a few things, however, that I waited until last to pack ...things that I've so enjoyed seeing everytime I come in the door...
A little bench adorned with a few random Christmas trees...some bottlebrush, some vintage. I love the old tree with the red balls and cotton balls on the base...it's so whimsical...
My bottle brush collection, displayed on a thriftstore find in my entryway...most of them courtesy of my sweet and classsy friend, Susan Taylor.
This was a little project that I did this year...I mounted art work from Ellie (angel; top left), Reilly (reindeer; top right), Jake (hand reindeer; middle), Brian (Santa; bottom left), Me (Mary, Joseph & Jesus; bottom right).............We were all around the same age when we drew them....I just love that it's displayed together. I didn't spend alot on the frames and the backing is just scrapbook paper. Next year, I'll display it with ribbons...
A burst of red nestled into my white and cream ware collection on the mantle...
I loved sitting in our dining room for each meal and seeing this cheerful sight....
This is a little nativity set that I made many years ago when I was living in NYC. A dear friend taught me how to create these figures out of different types of bread (potatoe, pumpernickle and wheat) and elmers glue. The little sheep are my favorite.
This is just one of those sweet pictures that I love to look at...(thank you, mom!) I have it displayed above one of my tree collections...
A few tiny bottle brush trees displayed on my kitchen window ledge....